Codependency ~ Fear of Breaking Those Bonds
FCGCT Commentary : We are moving from desires, to passions of the Heart. Let go of the mind, and solely flow from the Heart.
Codependency ~ Fear of Breaking Those Bonds
What is Stopping Me?
QUESTION: Masters, I broke up a relationship with a person, but we have to live together in the same house until each finds another place to live. I already found another place to stay but is always happening something that distracts me from moving or some obstacle appears and gets in the way of things. I can no longer live with this person because his energy drains me, there is no longer communication between us, he misunderstands everything I say, and I am willing to believe that he does that on purpose. I think he is in trouble with being alone in this world and continues to reflect that on me. What should I do? Can it be that my own fears of being all alone is helping us to stay in that situation? Sincerely I wish to stay alone, but I fear being alone forever. ~Juliana, Brazil
ANSWER: You two are co-dependent upon each other and fear breaking those bonds. Neither one of you wants to have to find another who will put up with your immaturity and lack of taking responsibility. The longer you cling to your living arrangement, the more impossible it will become to break apart.
You and he were never a good match, but you put up with each other because you are so much alike. It is while living together that each of you really saw what the other was like. You have grown in a spiritual sense and crave an openness and a way to further your understanding. He is happy to remain as he is, without growth, as long as someone will take care of him.
You all create your own worlds by the choices you make. If you will not take that step to separate from him, it will become harder and harder. You sense that he is your only chance for love, which is definitely not true, but you don’t want to take a chance on the unknown.
He knows that you do not like conflict but in a way are drawn to it to try and explain it away. That is why he is constantly “misinterpreting” your statements. You have the urge to make him understand exactly what you mean, but he doesn’t really care as long as it keeps you coming back.
If you really desire to find someone who will love you and share your life, stop procrastinating. It is impossible to make a connection with someone else while you are still tied down to this dysfunctional situation. Visualize what you desire in life. Picture the characteristics of a man who will love you. Project that out into the universe and then be ready to make a connection when someone new appears.
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