Finding The Hidden Gifts in Our Defensive Nature
By Jona Bryndis
Our defensive structure and coping methods of the ego were developed initially to find ways to deal with pain, fear, suffering, and even trauma. They were the response given to protect our vulnerable nature (the True Self), and keep us in a perceived state of safety, accepted, even loved.
With time, these restrictive methods blossomed through repetition into very complex, multilayered programs geared at keeping that very open and hurt part of us hidden, restricted, lost or even simply denied. This of course works for many without feeling the need change; however, a smaller percentage of us feel the frustration of denying part of themselves or their expression, which leads to seeking change, introspection and even an active search for ways to change.
For most, this entails shunning or denying our shadow at first as we try ‘to get rid of it,’ which only increases the restriction and adds layers to our ego’s methodology. This can bring about even more frustration, doubt, and judgment of just how bad we are creating a vicious cycle that just keeps adding to the ego.
It is only by going beyond or outside of the ego that we can effectively find change. Intentions set at becoming more real or whole from a heart (spiritual) perspective, can help to see the ego for what it is, the out of control protector of our true self.
By learning how to see the ego as just an aggressive, misaligned fighter part of ourselves hoping to keep us safe, we can begin to understand that it might be a bit healthier to stay open, accepting and, if possible, loving to our defensive nature, which in turn opens us to ways of letting go these patterns.
This ability to be open, allowing and even loving towards our ego shifts the perspective of it to simply just part of us that is not understood, nor integrated. In this movement to a softer approach that allows to stay out of shunning or fighting these ‘darker’ aspects of ourselves, we begin to see them differently. We see them as very talented aspects of ourselves that have only been utilized for lower vibratory expression.
Through the stance of embracing our shadow, we can discover our true inner feelings and sentiments and learn to become aware of how our associated Shadow-patterns twists and molds our perception, thoughts, feelings and actions.
What we find unacceptable about ourselves due to our views or protective Shadow mechanisms more often than not has hidden strengths within it– we just don’t know how to connect with yet or express them in healthy ways.
Shadow Work allows us to unravel the layers of our False Self making it one of the most transformative self-healing modalities. By loving our shadow and asking our heart to show us a new way, we can let go what is no longer needed and learn how to express the talents within these defensive mechanisms in healthier, faster vibratory way that aids us in taking our journey deeper into the amazing levels of truth and love.
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