My Experience as a Story-Teller
By Sophie Gregoire, 06/28/2017
Dear ones, I feel I’m taken somewhere new. Each day I’m reminded that I haven’t arrived. I’m reminded that since 2012, with an acceleration in 2014, my path has just been changing almost constantly. It has been almost impossible to keep a project or an idea in place in my thoughts for more than a couple of weeks or even days.
I was this, and then I was that. I was always called somewhere new and the more I would hang on to something which felt wrong, the more I would suffer by forcing myself to stay or to finish something. By forcing myself to follow through, to follow the plan rather than allowing myself to follow the flow at any time I would only drag myself down and in pain – while actually the end of it, its breaking point was unavoidable.
Always trying to finish something which felt wrong in the guts and heart, would it be a relationship, a job, would it be something important or minor in a life — would simply postpone Liberation, but Liberation was never an option in truth and Liberation always had the last word.
I’ve understood that resistance is futile on this way, there is only the wind and the path of the flow. Always comes the time when the river dam cracks.
I’d like to share with you that I’m not a teacher, a seer or a guide of any kind, but just a human being exploring herself and life as we all are.
It happened that on the way I started to write, and then publicly, because that’s my way of bleeding out, of releasing my thoughts, fears, callings, of giving words, a kind of follow-up to the storm of change I’ve been going through.
I’ve been writing because I felt called to, and to take the burden of confusion, of inner conversations between the mind and the heart, of fight between fear and love – out of myself. This is and was one of my most preferred and efficient way to release and reach a new step of understanding within, a new stone of “this is where I’m at”.
Actually I started to write because I felt madly in love with someone I always knew and because chosing him would imply the destruction of some personas of mine that I had learnt from childhood, society or perhaps past lives if this concept resonates. That love generated inner conversations about what life and love were truly about.
And from there unexpectedly were born a few first poems at a café, faraway from here. It had the Three of Life painted on the wall, there were serving jams of every fruit it seemed! and there were small picked-up yellow flowers on the tables.
That was all, love. Love, introspection and a desire to dive inside of me and find my essence, my truth, authenticity.
Teacher, no. Just love and a desire to know. Actually I don’t know anything, and can’t share anything else than about what I’ve been going through.
This is what Story-Telling is all about.
As days sing their new music I feel that I can’t connect that much anymore online with people except a few rare exceptions. My path requires now physical embodiement. It’s getting harder and harder for me to connect with people that I can’t feel, see, touch, explore the energy of physically.
My body wants to lead now. Determine where we’re going, who we love and what we do if any. It wants to make love, to release, to scream, to climax, to shift and twist and turn as much as my mind and spirit have done in the past years and months. It wants to catch up, you see.
I’m reminded that I don’t know anything. What I write is simply what I learn on the way, but it isn’t true or false, it is just my experience.
As my ability to interact by distance or online is decreasing tremendously these days, I feel callled to re-embrace a very earthly nature of mine that I had partly lost, or at least disengaged from, lately.
I’m drawn to the foreign, the travels, the smells, the pictures and flowers of other countries. I’m drawn to seeing life in all its majesty, wideness and stars again, by experiencing people, places, love, sceneries, months, years abroad when the individual is dismantled and reshaped by encountering the new, the foreign, what’s not understood yet, what is not “civilized”.
I wanted to share with you that I feel that the word “Purpose” may have many faces and meanings.
My personal experience is I’ve always felt that my purpose was to help and support people. It was many things on the way and this makes me smile actually. Social-work, being a physician, charity, smiling a lot to strangers and others. When I hear “purpose” I still see children, smiles, laughter, green wide spaces and perhaps bright flowers.
And I’m reminded that I want to be on the field, in the physical, moving, present, I want to support with my own hands, feet and heart dirty, messy, shattered, exploring as well.
If I had to find a word about what I’m sharing with you we could say that I’m a story-teller if that feels right.
Also my greatest teacher is not a teacher either, in the sense of being known out there as a “spiritual teacher” but he is one of the most evolved. Some teach by example and presence to many, which nobody “knows” about but feels.
There are many truths, and part of it is I’m traveling, as you are and we are all in this together, hand in hand. Learning, exploring and finding our heart.
I’m glad to be on this road with you.
Thank you for reading,
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