The Control of Vulnerability
The Control of Vulnerability
QUESTION: Masters I have found difficulty in friendships and romantic relationships. I enjoy socializing but over the years have been met with so many disappointments from those I have trusted and/or loved. I find myself resisting making friends, opening up to my lover, accepting that these people want to be in my life. I believe that these encounters are trying to teach me something, but I just can’t seem to shake my fears related to the many negative past experiences. Part of me has started to wonder if I’m meant to be alone, while another part of me thinks that’s just my ego talking to keep me safe from pain. What could be the cause of this? ~Kaley Marie, USA
ANSWER: You are very rigid in your expectations concerning anything that comes into your life, particularly when it deals with relationships of any kind. You have a need to be in control, so in new situations, even meeting and sharing interests with someone you have never met, you are hesitant because they are the great unknown. After an affair has begun, you then want to hide behind your walls so as not to be vulnerable to their analysis and potential criticism.
You lack self-confidence and self-worth. You don’t believe you are good enough or in the right position to be loved, and you have no idea about self-love or even romantic love. Love is an acceptance of who the other person is – not what you want them to be.
To be fulfilling, a relationship must be open and sharing so you can find a mutually satisfying bond. With your current emotional deficits, you are unable to comply. To reach a state where you can experience love, you first have to rid yourself of limiting beliefs. You need to develop a confidence that who you are is perfect for someone out there.
All souls are wonderful, loving, magnificent people if they allow themselves to be. Whenever one of your fears or doubts pops up, stop what you are doing and chase it down. Why is it there? Where does it come from? Why have I allowed it to take charge of me? Answering these questions will banish the restrictions and open a new world of possibility. Accept that you are an unconditionally loving soul with no constraints.
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